Saturday, March 28, 2009

Changing the World

I watched Evan Almighty tonight. I must say it was a really good movie. It was funny and it had a good message. Now here I go getting mushy.

Everyone always thinks of changing the world in such a large way. It was nice to stop and think that letting some one over in traffic, holding a door for some one, or spending time building a better relationship with your family are all ways to change the world. I think the fact we have this mindset that changing the world requires a lot of effort keeps many people from trying. I also think that we sometimes forget that millions of people doing something small can accomplish the same thing as a few people doing something large. So I'm going to try this week to think of something nice I can do to help some one else and do it. Let's all give it a try. If you'd like you can share the ideas you come up with in the comments section. I figure the comments section might as well be used for something.

So let the Acts of Random Kindness begin.

Friday, March 13, 2009

What to Expect when you don't want to be Expecting

If any of you have read my wife's blog you know carrying babies is quite an ordeal for her. We talked it over and decided that a vasectomy was the best route for both of us. Since I am down to a 4 day week now it seemed like setting up an appointment for a Friday was a good idea.

The scariest part of the whole experience came the night before the procedure. Before going I had to shave the area where the incisions would be made. I must say my amateur self down there with a razor scared me far more than a trained professional down there with a scalpel. It also took me about 3 times as long to accomplish this task as it took the doctor to accomplish the vasectomy.

The morning of the procedure I got up and made breakfast for my two sons. This is something I usually do on "Daddy Days" which is what we call all the days I don't work. I figured I wouldn't be able to do this for them the next day so I wanted to make sure I did it for them that morning. They had no knowledge of why I was going to the doctor, but they were being very sweet and funny. Looking at them at the table eating their muffins and smiling I realized that I was totally okay with this decision. They are more than I could ever have hoped for and are far more wonderful than I could possibly deserve. I love my boys very much and I know that they love me.

I had to have a driver for this procedure because they give you Valium before the procedure. Any time you are offered Valium take it. I'll elaborate on that later. We were unable to find a baby sitter, so the whole family got to go along with me for my appointment. Carson kept saying he wanted to go in with me and I kept assuring him he did not.

When I got to the office to sign in was the first time I realized that it was Friday the 13th. I am not a superstitious person, but for this it still made me cringe for a second. When the doctor first came in I asked him if his first name was Jason. He said no and asked why. I told him I was just joking because it was Friday the 13th. He said he had not realized that and maybe that was why they had so many people chicken out today. I still can't believe I unknowingly scheduled my vasectomy for Friday the 13th. I guess next time I fly I'll purchase a ticket for flight 5050.

The actual procedure was really not bad at all. Of course there was that previously mentioned Valium that I'm sure helped. I don't know if all doctors take this first step, but again if you are considering this I suggest looking for one that does.

After everything was complete they brought my wife in for the after care instructions. They could tell I was a little out of it. I was making jokes that I don't remember that may or may not have been funny and may or may not have been appropriate. I do remember picking up the little model of the male inner workings and pointing to the vas and saying to the nurse "hey this guys been snipped hasn't he?" As it turns out I was right about the model and I could tell that the nurse was very impressed by my medical knowledge, or maybe she wasn't.

My wife also told me the nurse commented that I had quite a lot of volume remaining that would have to be cleared. Now if you let a man know that anything positive was mentioned about anything to do with his "maleness" and size or in this case volume you are opening a door that is likely best left closed. This is especially compounded when for lack of a better term that man is high on something. I can't remember exactly what I said but I do remember being very proud and having my wife clarify what was said a few different times. I guess maybe I am still young and dumb. If you get that reference you are laughing right now. If you don't get it I won't explain it here.

When you get home from one of these you have to ice the area for the first twelve hours. This is about as much fun as it sounds. I waited as long as I possibly could before going to the bathroom for the first time. I really didn't want to see it. I finally couldn't wait any longer, and I have to say their had been quite a bit of bleeding. This prompted a call to the doctor and I was assured that everything was normal. Now we are just down to the waiting and testing. Hopefully I pass.

If any of you still are wondering about the procedure the doctor allowed me to video it. I was curious about what it actually looked like being performed, but I knew I didn't want to watch it live. It is from a tripod so it is not the best quality, but I really didn't want to invite a videographer into the room. Now I will caution you that there is blood and nudity involved so if you aren't up for something graphic don't click the video link. I went ahead and hosted it on my own website because I wasn't sure it would be okay with the blogger terms of use.

Video of My Vasectomy

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

More Carson Sayings

Last week I had a cold and I had some of the biggest sneezes I have ever had. Carson looked at me and laughed and said "Dad you sound just like Snot Rod". Now if you have a child of almost any age you will get that reference. If you don't, Snot Rod is the bad car from the movie Cars that sneezes and shoots fire out of his exhaust. I think it it supposed to be some sort of Chrysler product.

He is also learning to use the potty which is currently not going so well. He was obviously needing to go and his mom said for him to try and use the potty. She found he had already gone in his pants and said how are we going to try the potty when you already went. He said "We'll I guess we'll have to scrub the mission." Unfortunately more than the mission had to be scrubbed.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

You Can't Say I Wasn't Warned
Apparently it was not a Happy Birthday
Read it and Weep

I couldn't decide on a title for this one so I gave it three.

I came home from work on my wife's birthday and found this note on the door. I read it a few times. I guess I was looking for some hidden secret code in it or something but it appeared to be completely straightforward. I pondered, does she really want me to go away, or just want to make sure I go in with my eyes open. When I saw her I said I guess wishing you a happy birthday is a little useless at this point. She was already much better, because the kids were napping. The rest of the day did get better, and we had a good laugh from the note. Now both of my readers can have a good laugh to.